if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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