Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
