how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
