Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
