At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
