He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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