Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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