Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
