i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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