a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
