Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
