I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
