she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
