There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
