Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
