so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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