Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
