i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
