Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
