if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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