I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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