Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
