On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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