why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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