North Korea, Best Korea!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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