What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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