Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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