Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
is wine microwaveable?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
