I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
