Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
