Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
