After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
