so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
