Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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