the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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