I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
