have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
