Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
