her vagine was all disorganized.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
