i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
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