just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
