Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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