omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
