Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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