Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
