I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wish they made helmets for livers.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
