At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
