was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
