i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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