I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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